A person’s a person, no matter how small

Today is one year since we discovered our baby didn’t make it to 8 weeks. I will never forget that day nor the days that followed as we waited for the inevitable: for my body to let go of the child it loved. It’s amazing how a tiny person becomes a part of who you are. Forever. Never to be forgotten.

Today I am 13 weeks pregnant. This pregnancy has been so different because of our previous loss. I read into things too much. I don’t look or feel pregnant (apart from being exhausted!). But I’m pregnant. And it’s surreal.

I’m finishing off my last two papers of my degree and have honestly not had a lot of headspace to think about much else. So in a few weeks I’m sure it will all hit me. I’m really pregnant.

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Eden Farmstay Getaway

A farmstay is something we’ve often talked about doing with the lads. When a great winter deal came up for Eden Farmstay we jumped on it. It has far exceeded my expectations, and I’m sad to be leaving in the morning.

Pigs, chickens, roosters, bunnies, alpacas, goats and cows fill the beautiful pastures. Eggs on toast like I’ve never tasted. Frost in the morning, sunshine through the day. Animals living as animals should live. what a way to spend 3 wintery days!

Asher’s hope for this trip was to hug a goat. Not only did he get to do so, on many occasions, he also found a kindred spirit in Ian the kid.

Isaac, who is not an animal lover, has amazed us with his enthusiasm. On the first day, he was ever so cautious and adamant he would not hand feed animals. By day two he was feeding cows apples and allowing goats to nuzzle food from his palms. A goat even jumped up on his chest and he dealt with it beautifully. Now he wants a bunny.

Wearing gumboots everyday felt so good!

There’s something really special about this place. Matt and Jo (our hosts) go far above what you would expect. The feeding routine starts with a gentle tap on the cottage door, prompting us to all jump up to grab our gumboots and head out for the rounds with Matthew. He could have done the feeding much faster alone, but instead spent close to an hour leading us and giving us time to feed the animals and extra time to play with the goats. One thing I’ve realised doing the rounds is alpacas are among my least favourite animals, with spit that makes sewerage smell like daisies. Seriously.

We will be back, and I encourage my local friends to support this great family in their venture, and come for the best local mini break available!

http://www.edenfarmstay.com/

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Creative urge splurge…soon

I want to plan our 2014 holiday (because we are taking the lads overseas).

I want to redecorate our bedroom (thanks to Kirstie’s Vintage Home).

I want to recover a chair (because I have cute boys with messy hands).

I want to paint my office chair (because white is nice, but green might be fun).

I want to dust my camera off and take some photographs (because it makes my heart happy).

 

But I must study (because I have a Child and Adolescent Development exam in 10 days and I have a LOT of content to cover).

 

Multi-tasking has always been my way, yet I have managed to get things done in life despite my tendency to become easily distracted. But the past four months have shown me things about myself that I am quietly pleased to recongnise.  I have been more focused than I have ever been in my life. I have prioritised more efficiently, and I have delayed gratification like I never have before.

My creative urges are screaming out for attention, but they are being told to wait. Not to go away, but to take a seat and wait for me to finish what needs to be done.  At 11.10am on the 12th June, I will leave the exam room and these urges can have my full attention for five whole weeks.  Delaying gratification makes the gratification so much more…gratifying!!! Creative urge splurge coming up! (Be still my beating heart, get back to the books).

On that note, I best get back to what needs to be done 🙂

Pre-google Parenting reminder

I have been thinking about the simple life a lot lately, with longing. As our lives this year have been a tad more hectic than we would like, some of the simple pleasures we grew accustomed to with the change of my pace of life these past few years, have been lost in translation somewhat. With uni, work, school, soccer, swimming (you know the drill) it has been a challenge to hold tight to the simplicity we value. I keep telling myself that it is a big year, that is halfway done, and as soon as I graduate it will be all worth it. True. However, I need to become more intentional about simplicity once more. This was a nice reminder – an old blog that I needed to revisit.
https://outnumberedmumma.wordpress.com/2013/05/19/pre-google-parenting-2/

The sound of silence

As I sit here on a Monday morning, gearing myself up for another day of study, I am reminded of how quiet my life is all of a sudden. And I am not happy about it.

I remember with gushy fondness the noise that once filled this house for what seemed like every moment of everyday. The big noise of little boys feet running around the house, the squabbles, the squeals of joy, the tears of tiredness. This was the hustle and bustle that was my life with two small lads. These lads are now at school. Every freaking day. And I miss them more than I could even try to describe. I miss the silly fun we used to have. I miss the snuggles before I put them down for a nap. I miss the happy sounds of them waking up. I miss the cute ways they used to say things. I miss the morning teas, the afternoon teas. I miss the mess. I miss them.

But I must remind myself, I still have them. While I cannot possibly remember every moment of their infant years, I feel the moments, even the ones that I cannot recall. I feel the closeness, I feel the dependency they once had. It is different now. Different will be my constant companion, because this is what raising kids is all about; being with them as they change and as they grow. They may not be here making noise, but no doubt they are filling the air with their delicious noise at school.

The little one we said goodbye to in October only 4 weeks after that line appeared is in my heart, and the baby that we hope to have is on my mind. If we are blessed to bring an extra one to our family one day, I am certain there will be moments that I will wish for silence like this again. But I am sure that I will also remind myself that those kinds of noises are the most beautiful sounds in the world, and that one day I will miss them.

Miracle ladybug

This afternoon as I was hanging out the washing, Asher informed me that he had a new pet in his school pants pocket…the very ones that went through the washing machine!! We went to the clothesline and opened his wet pocket to remove the unfortunate creature, only to find the ladybug was still alive! A slightly damaged wing but alive! We found a nice leaf and hope he has a feast and feels much better after his thrill ride in a front loader. Lucky for the ladybug I only selected a 15 minute quick wash! I think it’s name is Lazarus the Ladybug.

Asher has learnt a lesson today about appropriate care of itty bitty’s.

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Raising Explorers

The lads were in their element with loads of exploration this week. We visited a local fort and our city museum finally reopened after a massive renovation. The kids were armed with explorers tool kits/backpacks for their journey around the museum. Complete with binoculars, magnifying glass, casts of Tassie Devil skulls, gems, fossils and a sketch pad to record their findings, they were quite the adventurers!

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Gentleman at the Library

I am sitting at the local library doing some readings for a uni assignment. But I keep thinking about the gentleman who waited for me to catch up at the doors of the library so he could open the door and usher me in this morning.

It made my heart smile, and got me thinking about how sad it is that such acts of kindness are perceived by many to be old school, unnecessary and anti-equality. Personally, I want my lads when they are elderly, to be the gentlemen waiting at the door of the library for the young woman behind him, holding the door and ushering her in. I want them to be the ones who offer the pregnant lady a seat on the bus. I want them to be the ones who use terms like, “After you” on a regular basis and help little old ladies with their groceries. Call me old fashioned, but such acts add something beautiful to our lives. If only the man who held the door open today knew what an impact his simple gesture has made on me today. Something makes me believe he’d do it regardless, because he is a gentleman.

Long live chivalry!

P.S.
To top it off, as I walked OUT of the library, and elderly lady stopped me and said, “Don’t you look nice with your top and handbag?” This got us talking about my handmade recycled bag made by my friend, and made my heart sing at the impact words and kind gestures with strangers can have. This reminded me again as to why I talk to people wherever I go. Yes, it feels strange at times, but it can really set the tone, or even better, change the tone of their day.

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Frametastic Week

I’m lazing in bed this Sunday morning, listening to the giggles of my lads and the sounds of the coffee machine as Matt makes me a soy latte. It’s been a huge week! I’m struggling to work out the juggle with full time study, work, parenting, school involvement and everyday life necessities like cooking and cleaning. But I’m grateful I’ve got the opportunity to experiment with such a juggle, and I’m going to try and master this! It’s a short term juggle, just 8 intense months. I think I can… I think I can… I think I can…
I have attached a collage of the week gone.

We now have a new sponsor child, by the delightful name of Cloudi. Our Compassion sponsor child graduated to a new university program (which is a huge achievement and a cause of great celebration of the impact that sponsorship has on young lives and communities), so we have taken on a second child from Operation Uganda, as we know people on the ground and hear first hand of the wonderful things happening in these children’s lives. Check them out here.

The international cooking fun continues. More pics later on that tomorrow after our next experiment.

Asher had a free dress day at school and his class performed in the assembly. I was delighted to see him drumming, and totally loved how he wore his cap for the occasion!

And study. Lots of study, served with coffee.

Happy Sunday to you all x

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